Your assignment... is not to raise a child, but to raise an adult

Contributed By:Dorothy Nevils

It’s that time of year, the time when syrupy-sticky cards and overpriced cut flowers will be showered on the one person most directly responsible for our birth, our mother. I know, she’s not the only… and that our own personal histories contain some strong footnotes or attachments regarding that word. However, if you go searching for the etymology, or the word’s origin, like I like to do, you’ll find the term umbilical cord, and you know what that is!

Anyway, many of us have some fluffy memories about our mothers, a word we’ve almost discarded for the kinder-to-the-lips term “Mom.” I kinda think of “Mom” as a sort of sedative: It sort of makes a mother drowsy, woozy… kinda glossing over the reality of missing forks, pieces of a “Where’s my measuring cup?” in the trash can, the stash of dirty socks under the bed, blamed (naturally) on a washing machine that only likes kids’stockings. The word mom is indeed a drug, but nothing like the drugs I grew up on, especially castor oil.

Perhaps we mothers have contributed to our own lethargic state. “Mom” rests so easily on the ear. Think of it… beginning with the lips resting comfortably on each other, gently, lovingly, like a baby’s soft head warm on your bosom. It’s so easy. You don’t have to put your lips or tongue into any sort of gymnastics, no twisting, no pursing, no changing – just one simple movement: Put your lips together, breathe slightly, then back together.

Is there any wonder that “mom” is more popular than mother”? Just think of the contortions one has to make to even say that word. It’s a long word. It takes more time. There’s so much involvement, for Pete’s sake: The lips, the teeth, tongue, the diaphragm… Just saying the word is like driving a gas-guzzling car… that’s just saying the word!

You learned as a child that saying a word is an important step in learning that word. Your teacher helped you say it, showed you pictures, and had you practice using it in a sentence. Remember? Then your face lit up when you recognized that word outside the classroom.

That’s kinda like it is with mother: You learned what it was. You observed it in context – your mother, other mothers, and you learned to judge what being a mother means: It’s more than just loving…more than caring… and more than just being there for your child.

If truth be told, being a mother is a lot more than most people realize. It takes courage, a thick skin, wisdom, intelligence, patience, and resolution. It takes observation, concentration.

As I say so often, your assignment, if you wish to accept it, is not to raise a child, but to raise an adult. That means that you will be the object of unimaginable hate when you invoke the NO word, which sears the body, even though it’s a “flash fire,” and you’ll jump from “most hated” to “more hated” a dozenten times in a week.

Be honest: If you had a gas-guzzler that took all your money out of your purse almost before it got in, what would you do? I’ll answer for you: You’d ditch it.

Could that be what happened to “mother”?

Story Posted:05/13/2017