Oftentimes we've heard, or maybe even used the phrase, "I'm grown. I do what I wanna do."

Contributed By:Dorothy Nevils maslivend@sbcglobal.net

If you read this column, you know that I often write to adults as teachers and parents, the models of the following generations. You also know that I believe that the child you raise is the child you raise – which is what motivates the parent, the ultimate teacher, to “raise up a child…” You know the rest. It’s right there in Prov. 22:6, and whether we go to church or by the building, we place a good deal of credibility in this verse.

This week I’m writing to a different group, not the parents, but the parents’ offspring, those former babies that were conceived, then nestled for months in the warm confines of a mother’s womb. During that time, its very future depended so much on the mother’s behavior: What she ingested, her activity, her behavior… I could go on and on. In short, she was the carrier of the new life: She lived the sticker, “Baby on board. Handle with care.”

A couple of weeks ago, after hearing a “used-to-be-kid” use the f-word, I posted a message on my page detailing the disappointment I felt. I know… for some, it’s no big deal, but for me it’s painful. I cannot just dismiss it because I sincerely love the “used-to-be-kids” whose little fingers wrapped around a popsicle stick from my fridge, or who bounded up my steps for a Band-aid to separate the new, bloody opening from the dust of sliding tires, or whose mothers knew exactly where to find them when the sun sank toward the earth. These were my kids, and I was selfishly bound to them for the rest of my or their lives!

Oftentimes we’ve heard, or maybe even used the phrase, “I’m grown. I do what I wanna do.” Consider for a moment what that implies. Does it mean that using the f-word is on your list of “wanna dos”? Is this an aspiration, and, if so, why? What pleasure, what sense of fulfilment, of gratification do you get from using that word? Does it make you rise in stature much like what you needed in junior high? Search yourself: Do you still have that need for acceptance? Cannot you feel “grown” just where you are, with your own accomplishments?

Finally, why must friends have more influence on you than the ones who literally put their lives on the line to bring you into the world?

Maybe I’m a bit old-fashioned, but I believe that serious parents take responsibility for their children, especially the ones they have, like me, carried in their bellies. Children grow up, but growing up is not the same as growing away.

What is it that makes you recognize that a fully grown, even graying, person is “such and such’s” son or daughter? You detect some familiar feature, some trait. It may be the eyes, the stance, the walk… Whatever it is, it is an identifier, a mark.

That’s the way it is with behavior. You will always be a reflection of your parents. Think about that the next time you set your teeth on your bottom lip to form the f-word. You’re making a statement about your parents, especially the one who brought you into the world… and who knows you’re lying?

Story Posted:10/01/2017